SCOTCLANS CHATS ON TWITTER TOO
Younger Men Marrying Older Women
Postings on this topic in the 'Love, Sex & Relationships: Miscellaneous' chat forum
This feature is provided by Scotster, the photo sharing and social site for Scotland. Clicking on a poster's name will take you to the Scotster website to view the person's full profile. You may click the 'Back' button on your browser to return to this page or follow the links on Scotster. To post a message on this topic, please join Scotster.Page 1 of 3: 1 2 3 next
I was wondering what your views are about a younger man and older woman marrying. Does it work? Are there complications? What about when she turns 70 and he is still in his prime in his 50's? It will be interesting to hear your views.
Oh crap.. LOL I don't know if I should even comment on this. Story of my life.. well not marrying younger men but for some reason I have dated more younger men than one's my age.. interesting. My son's da is 8 years younger than me.. and my boyfriend.. well Let's just say he is more than 10 years my jr. LOL.. I have some very mixed feelings about it (you've mentioned them above). He has no worries at all.. says he doesn't see it loves me etc.. and I do believe him but just as you stated.. I am a realist as well.. guess I should stop there. Not saying anything else that I don't want on the internet. LOL
Our opinions would be based on anecdotal stories,I should think. No grandchildren for an acquaintance whose only son married an older woman who already had older children,then later separated.
I personally don't see a problem with it. I think in a good relationship each helps to make the other feel younger. By the way what is the difference when a younger woman marries an older man? I think it is a cultural thing.....long over due for a bit of change in my view. Older woman have a lot to offer!
I was married for 15 years to a man almost 9 years younger than me and the last guy i dated seriously was 10 years younger. I don't think i have dated anyone older than me. It never seems to enter the conversation. I think that since I look a lot (lots) younger than I really am, older men don't single me out.
My father was younger than my mother. They were married for 27 years. It ended in divorce but their age difference had nothing to do with that. I have found that age is not a big factor in successful relationships. I find that people who have a good foundation of trust and good communication and can laugh with each other are the people whose relationships last longest regardless of other factors.
Age shouldn't be a factor...as long as they are good for each other and to each other.
quickfind:tharri95 > "Oh crap.. LOL I don't know if I should even comment on this. "
Absolutely you should comment Teresa, this is why I started this forum. I wanted to get contributions from as many people as possible, including the men.
Thanks for your contribution Sherwood, we need a mans perspective here as well. quickfind:heart_of_a_viking > "Older woman have a lot to offer!" Would you care to elaborate on that?
quickfind:czarli > " I find that people who have a good foundation of trust and good communication and can laugh with each other are the people whose relationships last longest regardless of other factors."
Well said Czarli
As for me, I am beggining to embrace the idea that it can work. The foundation of trust, love, fun, is just the beggining.
Please continue to add to this.
I spent much of my early life being around people older than me, even my parents were older than the parents of my school friends. Linda and I dated for 6 months back in 1977. She moved out of state and we saw other people until she had come back in 1989 to deal with the death of her son from her first marriage. We talked on the phone after finding out that she was in town and I asked her if she wanted to come over for dinner - she never left. We have helped each other with dying parents, taking care of each other with medical problems that have come up. She is 6 years older and we are still together.
Like any relationship, common interests, mutual respect, etc. are paramount for making it last. At any age and difference in ages, keeping the romance alive is vital. Continuing to do after time, what attracted you in the first place is so important!
I think our culture has too much emphasis on youth. I understand why, a long time ago, it was about having children and expanding ones family. Now as one gets older it is more about relationships, love, trust, etc... Older women usually know what they want in a relationship, younger woman (in my limited experience) usually are not quite as focused.
When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age.
Victor Hugo, Les Miserables.
To love and be loved more than once in your lifetime brings a new kind of contentment which nourishes and makes the soul youthful.
Age shouldn't define a person's character. As long as a man has honesty, integrity, courage, and has a heart that is capable of giving and receiving love, kindness, charity, and empathy...then age is irrelevant.
Let's stir this up abit shall we? LOL My man is 18 years younger than me? What say you to that? LOL..go ahead.. comment.
I meant to add.. he is the oldest younger man I have ever met.. truly.. an old soul... long story.. I should probably delete the above comment.
I say...as long as you're happy.... Way to GO!
T, good on you and your man. I have a much younger wife, my Mum was 22 years younger than my Dad... that all worked out... so I say what is good for the Gander is good for the goose!!
quickfind:tharri95 > "Let's stir this up abit shall we? LOL My man is 18 years younger than me? What say you to that? LOL..go ahead.. comment"
Stir some more Teresa - this makes for a good forum. I for one am not shocked by your admission of your man being 18 years younger as long as you are happy,
I love being a toy boy :) ...... my GF is almost 10 years older than me :)
Alan.. lol.. you doll face.. loved that.. and thank you Mona, Julie, JR. I still wonder.. but I love the man like I love to breathe.. we have been together for over a year now and yes he is Scottish.. lol.. but the man loves me.. we finish each other sentences.. so it is almost scarey and uncanny.. he.. reads my mind.. the man.. (good lord).. well I had better stop.. he is the most beautiful man. ... been thru alot.. beautiful heart and soul.. and his looks don't hurt LOL.. but.... the constant insecurity that I have is what is mentioned above.. (me being 60 when he is 42..) that is the reality of the situation.. but.. I don't look my age and I sure as hell don't act it.. so I am not fussed right now. lol..
Teresa, You have nothing to be insecure about. With some men (and some women) it is the physical attraction that keeps things interesting and then there are those who become so in tune to the other person that they can finish one another's sentences or predict an answer to a question. What ya have there is someone who interests come from a deeper place than the physical. Don't get me wrong, physical is important and you should both enjoy that (while you have it) but at the end of the day, a love built on a commitment of will is far more trusting and permanent than that of the physical. My opinion:)
Well said, Dennis.
Teresa, everything you have said is so moving, I can actually feel the love you have for each other.
quickfind:tharri95 > "but.... the constant insecurity that I have is what is mentioned above.. "quickfind:tharri95 > " (me being 60 when he is 42..)"
Teresa, don't spoil what you have by that constant insecurity - in time it will overtake you and who knows what the consequences will be.
quickfind:tharri95 > "but.. I don't look my age and I sure as hell don't act it.. so I am not fussed right now. lol"
So embrace that and enjoy every day - each day we have is a gift
STOP WORRYING - you're a lucky lady
Awww thanks Dennis.. and Julie and Mona.. yeah.. he keeps saying.. doll (he calls me doll... blushing).. it is what I think.. not what anyone else thinks.. he is more mature than I am. (lol).. seriously.. but.. we will see.. :) I told him I can see... well never mind.. lol
Age is a fact of life. It only progresses and there is no way to change it. You can't stop aging and you can't age faster. Maturity,however, is usually associated with age but can be changed. It can slow down, speed up, and even stagnate. A lot of people say things like, "Oh that person is young so of course they behave the way they do". What they actually are talking about is the person's level of maturity. Age has little to do with it, except for the fact that many people progress through maturity at the same age levels. We associate age and maturity so much that most people think of them as the same thing.
I have always had better chemistry with people 10-15 years older than myself. My best friend in 10 years younger than I am but we have the same level of maturity. I think that maturity is much more important than age.
Would you like to chat about the clan?
Our social networking features are powered by Scotster, the photo sharing and social site for Scotland.
We teamed up with Scotster to enable you to meet other people affiliated to the clan and to read and contribute to chat forums for the clan.
Whether you're 100% Scottish, with Scots ancestry, friends or family, or you simply love Scotland, Scotster helps you to find people who share your interests:
- Create a profile showing your clan affiliations and chat in clan forums
- Expand your social circle by finding people who enjoy doing the same things you do
- Share photos and memories of good times and great places
- Link to your friends and chat with fast and easy-to-use messaging
- Discover people in your local area or within any distance from a postcode or place name
- Start talking right away by seeing who is online now
- Organise and promote social events
- Find people with local knowledge about what to do and where to stay in places you're visiting
- Have a laugh, get serious or ask for advice in our friendly forums
- Enjoy free unlimited access to all features